im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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