He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
