I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
