I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
