I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
