your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
hell yes lets make some ravioli
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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