dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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