I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
