# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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