and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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