I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
