He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
