when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Be still, my beating vagina.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
