giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
