I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
