i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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