He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
