Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
why is half of my head shaved?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
