btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
