I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
