am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
