people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
birth control should be required to get into college
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
