i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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