Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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