two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
