wakey wakey hands off snakey
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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