Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
