On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
