u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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