How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he thought i was a dude.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize