Kiss
Puke
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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