Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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