3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize