I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
