Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
