This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Enjoy the penises
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
