She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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