White coat. Heels.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
