I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
