i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
