she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
