Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
