Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
