I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
