thus making me awesome and them whores
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Do vagina's smell?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
