Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize