what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
