It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
