lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
