I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize