chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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