Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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