what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He shit in the fireplace
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