i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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