He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
two words...techno handjob
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize