just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
