let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
