tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
